Chapter 13
Love
on Earth
What
is love on
earth? It's an undecipherable mystery, dear God! It can
be a cloud of smoke which disappears in spirals, or a dirty pool of
water whose vapors infect the atmosphere, or a terrible storm that
demolishes everything... leaving behind only death and desolation. Oh
yes, but love on earth can also be a life of a roses, where
only two twilights glow... one in the morning and one in the evening,
or, it can be the cause of abominable passions whose feelings make one
blush or, a horrible tragedy which ends in death.
And
even so, the
skeptics still doubt, dear God! They deny with
tenacious determination that You reserve for Your children other
worlds, where souls may truly quench their ardent thirst, by
means of Your Immense Love!
I
love You,
Lord. I, who hope and believe in Your infinite mercy. I
know that You hear my prayers and I know that one day... in the future,
in another life, I will smile with happiness at the delight of loving a
woman!
She
was so
beautiful! I still see her, with the pale forehead crowned
with white jasmines, with her black curls, and her eyes radiating love!
In my whole life, Lord, I had only seen her three times! And each time
I did, I could not say that my heart belonged to her...! My lips always
remained silent, but I do not know if she knew my heart, by reading it
in my eyes!
This
planet
earth is so sad! This incident of love was the
most holy and the most pure; it was true affection which was sacrificed
in the name of religion because of my vows. I could never forget that
girl with the black curls. She was a creature who left behind a trail
of perfume...such a fragrance which could never evaporate; the
enjoyment of the feelings I encountered, left an impression of an
immortal smile upon my heart. But, I'm content with my
sacrifice; I am happy for not having experienced material pleasure,
because the pleasures of earth at times, only leaves a legacy of
mourning and tears. Now then, I know because I have seen it, I have
touched it, and I am convinced that the pleasures on this world are as
a fountain, abundant with an outpouring of pain.
It
has been some
time that I have had certain feelings of sweet envy,
on contemplating two happy beings. Upon seeing them smile, I would say
to myself,‘Dear God, why have I not been able to smile like
them? Why have I had to live so alone?’ But, my dear God...
what a brief time I had to envy them!
Poor
Lina and
unhappy Gustav! I still feel as if I am a victim of a
horrible nightmare, but it's true. It's a terrible true story. I saw
them grow up, but who could have told me that I would live long enough
to see their deaths? Today, they sleep near her, next to the girl with
the black curls! The family of my soul is in the cemetery. Forgive me,
dear God! In my pain, I am being selfish and forget that the family of
a man should be all of humanity. All who are in misery are my children,
all the destitute are my brothers, and all people are my friends. But,
I'm still far from perfect and I still have the weakness of loving
those who are my favorites.
Children
of
mine! Gustav and Lina! I still see the two of you as if you
were both still very young!
It
was twenty
years ago, when one morning in the month of April, a
child of about seven years old came to find me. He was a handsome boy,
seemingly hopeful with the prospects of becoming a very nice young man.
He said, “Father, a child was brought to my
mother’s sister. She is so beautiful! You will see for
yourself, Father. We want her to be called Lina. Come Father, they are
bringing her.” The boy made me run towards that angel who was
coming to receive the waters of baptism. During the ceremony,
Gustav looked at the child, and his beautiful eyes seemed to be saying,
“How pretty she is!”
That
child did
not lie, because that recently born baby was a precious
creature who grew up among the flowers and was a blessed joy. All the
parishioners loved Lina and welcomed her caresses. We were all happy
when we saw that child smile, because within it, shone a beam straight
from heaven.
There
was
nothing sweeter nor more moving than to see those two
innocents together. Since Gustav was older, he took care of her while
she was small. She slept in his arms, he showed her how to walk, and
even how to pronounce my name. Gustav, like all the children of the
village, had a great affection for me, and one of his greatest
pleasures was to bring Lina to me, sit her on my knees and while
leaning over my shoulder, he would say with tender admiration,
“How pretty Lina is! I wish she were already a
woman.”
“For
what?” I asked.
“So
I
could marry her,” Gustav answered, in a very
serious tone. “And when we are, we will live near you. You
will see, Father, how happy we will be.” I liked to hear the
boy talk this way, because his plans of joy gave me great happiness.
Lina listened silently. She was a child who spoke very little, but felt
much. These conversations would always leave me with good feelings and
then the two children would hug me with great tenderness. These times
were what I would call my hours of sunshine, my moments of jubilation,
but how few they were...!
I
educated Lina
with great satisfaction. She was so good, so humble,
and so loving. I do not know what mysterious tie
she had to
me, but she used to pass all her free time in my garden. Her family who
adored her, knew this, and when they wanted to find her, they knew she
would be with me. How she cared for the birds that nested in the old
cypress tree nearby, and how she helped to cultivate the flowers which
I favored. Gustav used to say, to make her talk, "I'm getting jealous,
I think that you love Father Germain, more than me.”
Lina,
upon
hearing him, smiled sweetly and said softly,
“You're the one who taught me to love him!”
We
passed Sunday
afternoons with these tender discussions. Other times,
I would sit down to read and I would tell Lina and Gustav,
“You can go walking, but do not go too far away, stay where I
can see you. Seeing you happy together, makes me feel content, so do
not deprive me of it.” And the two youths would go walking,
he always talking, and she smiling with a radiant smile. During those
instances, in my mind, I would see the girl with the dark black curls
and would say to myself, ‘I also would have liked to have
talked like him, and I also would have known how to express my immense
love to her. Gustav live! For I have not. Everyone seems to have their
place in the eternal feast of Life, but my chair has been left
empty...’ This outburst of egotism passed swiftly, and I
exclaimed, ‘Forgive me, God! I have faith in You. I know I
also will live as Gustav because upon leaving this earth, I will find
the girl with the black curls!’
The
years passed
by, and Lina was just reaching seventeen years of age,
when on her birthday, I was to bless her union in marriage with Gustav.
They were going to start a new family and the newlyweds were going to
live in a house they had built near my garden. The old church
caretaker, Miguel, was overjoyed. And I saw myself completely absorbed
with caring sweetly for them. We all made plans for the long cold
nights of winter ahead, when we would be united in our homes together,
and our hearts beat with happiness.
When
one
morning, the parishioners of my village were suddenly awakened
by men knocking on their doors with long spears. In the distance were
heard the neighing of horses, which echoed repeatedly throughout the
mountains, and many voices said at the same time, “To arms!
To arms! War upon the strangers! To war!”
Lina
was the
first one who came to the church, shouting,
“Father, what do these men want? They've entered into all the
homes... women are crying...the soldiers curse, the young ran away, and
the elderly speak among themselves. Come, come with me! It looks as if
the Day of Judgement has come to our village.” I went with
her and soon I knew what had happened. War! That insatiable
voracious dragon was hungry for humans, and army captains came looking
for them in our village.
In
less than two
hours, that cheerful community was left in such a
terrible state, it was as if a plague had passed through it. The cattle
mooed in their stables disturbed and forced out of their peaceful
repose, and the sheep bleated loudly in their fold. The women cried
without consolation, the elderly spoke solemnly among themselves and
were glancing sadly up the path, dense with dust, which betrayed that a
band of men had passed through.
All
of the young
men strong enough to carry arms for battle, were taken
from our village so that they could shed their blood upon the
battlefields. Gustav went also, he had only enough time to leave Lina
in my arms, and tell me, “Father, I entrust to you, the love
of my life! Watch over her and it'll be like you're watching over
me!” I drew close to my heart the head of that noble youth,
and with grievous pain, my tears covered his hair. Meanwhile, Lina
stood speechless, without tears and with a blank look on her face. She
had lost all of her senses; one could see there was violent pain in her
heart due to this impending separation. When she regained her
composure, she wept with her parents and those of Gustav’s,
regarding this terrible misfortune.
Many
sad days
followed! The village looked as if it was a graveyard.
The work that needed to be done in the fields, since this was an
agricultural community, was almost paralyzed. Misery overcame all, and
desperation started to come over people’s hearts. More than
one youth, when they came to confess at church, asked
me,“Father, will God punish me for wanting to die?”
Lina,
within
whom that immense pain from the loss of her loved one had
awakened a power from within her soul, asked me, “Father, is
it true that if he does not come back, we will go look for him? I do
not want him to die alone. He would think that I had forgotten him and
he would not be able to sleep in his grave. It's true isn't it, that we
will go look for him?” Upon saying this, she looked at me in
such a fashion that I cried like a child.
Three
years went
by, and during that time Lina's parents passed away.
Gustav’s parents now took care of her. But the young girl was
always with me, speaking of her beloved. She always looked like a soul
in sadness. That wonderful creature, the only life she had left, was in
her eyes, which she always had fixed on me; she told me much with them.
There were moments when I could not resist them, it seemed her looks
were like arrows shooting through my heart. Who wouldn't be distraught
looking at her, with that muted pain. She did not talk much and she
seemed very calm, but her look could be emotionally devastating.
One
afternoon,
she came to get me at the cemetery, with that delicate
instinct and fine perception which sets a woman apart from men. Even
though I had not told her anything, she knew that in that tomb, there
was something which had to do with my happiness. That's why she came
looking for me there, knowing that since that place was sacred for me,
there I could not deny her anything.
Staring
at me
with a look that made me tremble, she said,
“Father, Gustav calls me and I have heard him, and in the
name of the dead one who sleeps here, I beg you to come with me. She
would bless you, and Gustav would, too.”
I do
not know
what happened to me, but I saw a vision of light appear
before me which ascended from the bottom of the tomb. I looked at Lina
as if in a trance, and told her, “We shall go!” The
eyes of that young girl shined with tears of gratitude and the very
next morning, we left the parish accompanied part of the way by
Gustav's parents.
After
traveling
a long distance, we came to where the last battle had
taken place. Among piles of dead bodies and the wounded, we looked for
Gustav but were unable to find him. Finally, we entered the encampment
where there was a makeshift hospital. Lina looked intently about,
taking in that whole scene, in that horrible place. Then rapidly, with
the force of will from her desire, I saw her direct herself to one
extreme of the broad enclosure and fall on her knees in front of a
wounded man. When I was able to get near her, it was with great
difficulty that I recognized Gustav. He, upon seeing me, put out his
hand looking for mine. The three of us embraced as one, with
no one saying anything; except Lina, but only with her eyes. Gustav
wanted to talk, but he was too choked up with emotion and the three of
us remained for a while, full of an indescribable intensity of emotion.
Then
the enemy
troops who had won the battle, came to seize the
vanquished and recover their wounded. Lina, upon seeing this, took one
of Gustav's hands and looked at me, saying firmly, “I will
not let them take him.”
Comprehending
her heroic resolve, I drew near her, and
said,“Stay calm. We will not let them do it.”
Eventually,
Gustav's turn came, and when they were going to lift him
up, the official directing this sad operation looked at us with a fixed
stare. As we raised to a sitting position the wounded man, the official
got closer, looked at me and exclaimed with alarm, “Why
Father Germain, you are here! Why have you left your village?”
Briefly,
I
explained the reason for my presence. He then told
me,“It has been some years back, that I owed you my life. You
most likely do not remember me, but I will never forget you. I wish to
somehow repay the debt that I owe you. How may I do so?”
I
said,
“By giving me this wounded man, who in a few days
will be dead. This is so, at the very least, she may be able to close
his eyes when his time arrives.” Without a moments
hesitation, he acceded to my wishes, and with an escort we got back to
the village after much difficulty.
Since
we had
left the parish, poor Miguel, had daily went out onto the
road to check on our return. He was there again when we arrived and ran
to greet us. He then told me, that Gustav's father had died upon
receiving a false notice of his son’s death, he also said he
did not know the whereabouts of the mother. Upon hearing this terrible
news, I directed that Gustav be taken to my private room. Upon his
arrival there, began days, which for me were truly horrible.
What
a
spectacle, Dear God! Such tribulations! I compared them to the
first years after Lina was born, when Gustav would place her on my
knees as a baby, and say, “Father, look at her! How pretty
she is!” What a different picture we now had before our eyes.
What a change in circumstances! What a metamorphosis!
Now,
Lina did
not look like herself; her hair had grown white. It was
even more difficult to speak of Gustav. He was thin, his skin had
darkened, and his eyes were almost always closed. Although he tried to
keep from screaming (what came out was mostly stifled moans), blood
kept flowing from his mouth at intervals. His head was covered with
bloody bandages and the doctor had ordered that they not be removed.
His fever was so high, we were not able to give him any nourishment.
Lina stayed by him, silently and somber, with her eyes in a fixed stare
on his wounds. Periodically, she would say softly, “How much
we bother him, Father. But... he has not long to suffer. I know that
Gustav soon will leave us... and I will leave with him, because he will
be afraid beyond the grave without me. Yes, yes, I should go with him.
I do not want to remain here without him.”
I
did not know
what to say to her. I looked at her and saw in her eyes
a frightful calmness. I did not know what it was, but it horrified me.
She would look at him and murmur softly, “Dear God, dear God,
have mercy on us. Apart from me this cup of sorrow. But if I must drink
it down to the last drop, then give me strength, God, give me the
courage to support the enormous weight of the cross I must
bear.”
Gustav,
every
once in awhile, had moments of lucidity. He
would open his eyes and look at his beloved with saintly adoration, and
then he would see me, and would say bitterly, “Poor thing!
Poor Lina...! Father, is it true there is no God...?”
Then
that poor
sick man would become delirious, and Lina would say to
me, “Father, let's pray for him!”
How
terrible
those days were, dear God, how terrible! It horrifies me
to remember them; we did not have a moment of rest... and no hope.
There were only supplications and laments heard, while watching Lina
slowly die. It went on like this daily for three months.
Then
one
morning, while I was in church fulfilling my obligations, and
Lina was in her room gathering together medicinal herbs to make a tea,
Gustav, still feverish, woke up. He found his uniform and out of it,
took a small dagger which he then plunged into his heart without making
a sound. Lina had heard nothing. A short time later, Lina and I entered
his room. When we got close to Gustav’s bed, dear God, what a
sad and terrible scene. I will never forget it! Gustav was with his
eyes wide open and with a bitter smile upon his face. In his left hand,
were the bandages which he had torn from his bloody head and the dagger
was still in his heart. Without uttering a sound, Lina, closed his eyes
gently. Then, while she tried pulling the dagger from out of his chest,
she shook violently and let out a shrill laugh, one which afterwards
seemed to continue to resonate in my ears.
She
then got up,
embraced me, and during the next forty eight hours she
did nothing but laugh and was seized with terrible convulsions. During
those forty eight hours, there was spent forty eight
centuries of suffering. What agony! What anguish and what distress!
There are no words to describe my horrible torment during this time.
Finally, she delivered her last laugh and for a moment her eyes were
illuminated with a ray of reason. She took my hands tenderly and
reclined her head on my shoulder, the same way she used to do when a
small child. And I, feeling only terror, remained frozen, for I do not
know how long a time; petrified by such an immense and tragic
experience...
On
the afternoon
of that same day, the parishioners of our village
accompanied the bodies of Lina and Gustav to the cemetery. Their tears
of love poured over both tombs. I buried them near her, the idol of my
soul, and every day, I visit both tombs experiencing contrary emotions.
When
I kneel
before the tomb of the girl with the black curls, my soul
smiles and acquires vitality, and a sweet tranquility takes a hold of
my spirit. Any feelings of turmoil or, if my mind is in a dizzying
state, loses its painful activity and something pure, calm, and
pleasant caresses my emotions and intellect. My eyes close, and
although my physical body is succumbed by sleep, my spirit launches
itself and flies towards space, and I see her, always beautiful and
smiling, saying to me with tenderness, “Finish your journey
without impatience, without fatigue, calm your intimate desire, because
I wait for you, and Eternity awaits for the two of us!” Then
I awaken, feeling fresh, agile, strong, and full of life. I then rise,
kiss the flowers around her tomb and exclaim with jubilation,
“Lord, You are Great! You are Good! You are Omnipotent,
because the lives of our souls are eternal, as is Your Divine
Will!”
Afterwards,
when
I pause by the tomb of Lina and Gustav, I am overcome
with awful feelings which are inexplicable. I see him, impatient,
delirious, and rebelling over his destiny. He had violently
broken the bonds of life and denied God in his fatal madness. I see
her, possessed with the same frenzied feelings, laughing with a
terrible sarcasm because her happiness had ended. In this frightful
drama, in this horrible tragedy, there is the fever of passion which
has risen to the utmost level of madness. Here is the fatal egotism of
man, because Gustav killed himself so that he would not suffer anymore,
convinced by his immense pain that his wounds were incurable.
He doubted God’s mercy, forgetting that for God,
nothing is impossible. Possibly, he would have eventually been cured!
He
did not take
into account the immense pain he would cause Lina, with
lack of sensitivity, wanting to put an end to something, which in
essence has no end. Poor, Lina, extremely sensitive and hurt within the
innermost fibers of her heart,.she also forgot about God and of me.
Neither did she remember her Christian faith, my solicitudes, my
teachings, nor my love. Only in her last look to me, did she seem as if
she was asking my forgiveness for the large wound that she left in my
soul, a wound so deep, so profound, that it would not be able to heal
itself on earth.
They
both gave
themselves up into the arms of desperation, that's why
at their tomb I can no longer smile, because their lamentable souls
will be looking for each other for a long time. They will not be
allowed to see each other because it is a grave transgression to break
the completion and fulfillment of the Law of Life.
All
pain is
merited, all agony is justified. He that violently breaks
the bonds of life, will awaken in the afterlife in darkness. Happy is
the spirit who suffers with resignation all the pain and tribulations
of life, because upon leaving the earth, how wonderful their awakening
will be...!
My
dear ones!
Two youths who dreamed of a future of love, souls who
were in love, of which I loved so much, where are you? Why
have you left your pretty white house? Why have you abandoned the birds
which had received bread from your hands? Why have you forgotten that
solitary old man who felt the sweet warmth of life by your
sides? Why have you gone...?
They
left
because of that hydra, with one hundred heads, called war. It
is like a hyena that is so ferocious and with a thirst for the hunger
and blood of young adults. Young men, who were strong and had been
helping their parents in their old age, ran to become submerged within
tombs. They who would have been the future of progress and the hope of
many souls in love. Oh War! Odious tyrant of ignorance! You
have conquered a small section of land with the death of
millions of men.
The
rights of a
certain race! Feuds over lineage! The power of brute
force! You will all disappear because progress will be the end of you!
The planet earth will have no borders because it will become as one
nation. These barbaric rights and the hate of strangers will
have to be extinguished one day. What do we mean by a
stranger? Is he not a man? Is not he also a son of God? Is he
not our brother? Oh, imperfect human laws and antipathies! Oh, the
biblical Cain!
How
many Cains
have been left in humanity? God, please forgive me, if
at times, I feel happy when the idea comes to my mind of abandoning
this tragic place of exile. Forgive me, if when my fatigued weakened
body, asks with melancholy sadness, “Lord, has my last hour
arrived?” The men of this world, with their ambitions and
their tyrannical laws, horrify me. The flower of happiness does not
open upon this earth and I desire to breathe its intoxicating perfume.
I desire a sweet and loving family, yet on this planet my home is in a
cemetery.
Lina!
Gustav!
And you, my dear, the heart of my soul...the pale young
girl with the black curls...! Beloved spirits, do not abandon me!
Provide me with encouragement and accompany me in the last third of my
journey. We, the elderly, are just like children, it scares us to be
alone!
Father Germain
Next
chapter: 14
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For
Those Who Attend Spirit Sessions
Spirit communication received at The
Spiritist Society of Florida by Yvonne Limoges - April 29, 2005
God Bless all those who come this morning! Search deep within
your hearts to see if you know the true reason that you come
here…
Those mediums that transmit the messages from us in the spirit world
should come with the firm resolve to fulfill their sacred duty without
pride because the messages that you receive are not from you. You are
only the instrument to be used so that the Creator’s
teachings may be revealed. And all here please know, that interaction
with the spirit world between those in the material world (whether a
medium or not) should be an active communion. There are many reasons
you come:
You seek advice for what may be
going on in your material lives,
sometimes you receive it, other times you do not. You faith may be
tested, but nevertheless your presence shows humility to the Divine
Will.
You seek consolation for your
sufferings. Here, as Spiritists, you are
reminded that all suffering serves a Divine purpose for the
purification of your soul.
You seek inspiration from us to
lift you up with the spiritual strength
to support the tasks you have chosen and the sufferings you deserve in
this lifetime. Your guides come to tell you they love you and they try
to ease your troubles with their beneficial fluids. Generally, they
cannot stop the trials you must undergo, but can only help alleviate
them.
But, open you ears and your hearts at the spirit session! For you must
be receptive to receive the benefits of this spirit communion. You must
put your part through resignation and faith ever strong in the Wisdom
of the Creator. You must be humble to absorb these beneficial fluids we
bring to ease the pain within your souls and bodies. Concentrate on
what happens here and leave your mundane cares outside these walls and
seek spiritual knowledge and solace, away from the trivial cares of the
world!
Pray sincerely and fervently; don’t be passive. Truly listen
carefully to the spirit communications and learn from those spirits who
admit they have made mistakes they now cannot take back. Learn about
the spiritual and moral laws that can save you so much heartache and
put them into action in your own lives….God Helps those who
help themselves. You merit wherein you have made that effort to fulfill
the duties that have been designated to you in this lifetime.
Complaining and murmuring is no good, for all suffer, and you as
Spiritists, should learn here how to suffer well. Have resignation, be
self-sacrificing, and have strong faith that nothing happens without
just cause.
Finally, you should come in adoration of the Omnipotent Creator Who is
All Love and All Compassion because all His children eventually reach
Him. The door of redemption is never closed, how fast you reach your
goal of a purified spirit is up to you!
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Rare Spiritist Books
Available for Download
The Federação Espírita do Paraná (Spiritist
Federation of the State of Paraná, Brazil) announces the
availability for download of rare XIXth century Spiritist Books at the
Biblioteca
Espírita Virtual (Digital Spiritist Library).
The dream the starts to become real is to make it possible for scholars
of future generations (maybe us again) to study important works that
will never be published again and that would not be available otherwise.
Up to now all the titles available are in French, although we know that
there are rare important Spiritist books written in other languages,
like German, Spanish and English!
So, we are taking advantage of this section to ask you, dear English
speaking readers, to help us find rare Spiritist books in English, that
have been or can be turned into, digital format so that they may be
added to the library.
Please help us in this noble but difficult task.
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Divaldo Franco's
Conference in Australia
We have received today, June 11, the following email form Gloria
Collaroy:
Dear all,
He has given more than 10 thousand lectures and speaker in 54
countries in the continents of Europe, Asia, Americas, Africa
& Australia.
Mr Franco is a Doctor honoris causa in Humanity and also
in Parapsychology, by American & Canadian Universities.
Through his extraordinary Medium ship Mr Franco has
published almost 200 books and 70 of them have already been translated
in 16 languages.
Mr Franco will be speaking about:
- PSYCHIC HEALING
- LIFE & DEATH
- LOVE
- REINCARNATION
- DRUGS
- THE IMORTALITY OF THE SOUL
- MEDIUMSHIP
- OBESSESION
- SUICIDE
- ABORTION
- DEPRESSION
Do not miss the chance to understand more about your Life &
Life after death...
Conference at: Lewisham Public School
The Boulevarde - Lewishan
Sydney - NSW - Australia
Informations - (02) 9597 -6585 gloria collaroy