Advanced Study Group of Spiritism

EDITORIAL

TEXTS

I have an intimate conviction that man lives always. There are moments, without being able to explain it, when I'm transported back to another epoch, and I see myself young, full of vigor, with a woman and child following me, as if they belonged to me. I can never see the child's face, but within me, I hear someone say, “That is Rudolph.” I run behind him, to try and take him in my outstretched arms and the child flees, without noticing my loving aspirations. I return to the present, and I ask myself, “Why do I love Rudolph so much if through him, all I have known has been nothing but crimes? Why do I always desire to follow the details of his life, knowing that the only pleasure he will absolutely feel on this earth, will possibly be my death? And in spite of all this, I love him, and in order to provide for a faster progression of that soul, I would give up one hundred centuries of love and happiness! One hundred centuries of happiness, united to that girl with the black curls!

There has to be a cause for this. Undoubtedly, we have lived before, and since we live now, we must live again in the tomorrow as well. Rudolph, in that future, will be very miserable.

Inspire me, God! Please give a prophetic intonation to my words, imprint in my eyes an attraction as powerful as my will. I want Rudolph to come and live near me. I want him to be honorable, because I love him with all my soul.

“And what are your intentions, to take up abode within this parish?” I asked.

“I do not know,” he answered. “You have me terrorized with your prophesies. Wherever I go, I feel terrible, but at your side I seem to feel better.”

“Do you still hear that laugh?”

“Yes. Periodically, I do. A short while ago, upon arriving at the spring, I heard it so clearly and so near, like the very day when that crazy girl threw herself into the abyss, fleeing from me.”

“Do you know why, during that instant, you heard it so clear?”

“No, I cannot even guess.”

“Well then, the echo of that laugh resounded in your ears because you planned another indiscretion....you were thinking of adding again to your large catalogue of atrocities.”

“You're delirious, Father, without doubt you are delirious,” responded Rudolph, trying to smile, but one could tell it was forced.

“I'm not delirious, Rudolph. In the last forty years, the only book I have studied in, is the book of men, which can only be read from within their eyes. I've read in yours the torpid desire of cupidity. You’re are a spirit dominated by the vertigo of the passions. You have not loved, you have only desired, and since desire is insatiable, that is why you have always looked at a woman with only the sensual desire of the flesh.  In your mind, there is not a memory nor a sentiment which you could cherish, because after your ardor is quenched, your desire is renewed. Woe unto the man that only desires a woman as an impersonal Venus! But fortunate is he who through the tenderness of a woman, is happy! Love for a woman can be our redemption, but the constant desire of the possession of a woman, turns man into a savage.”

“Look Rudolph, I am not a saint because there are no saints here on earth, but I’ve been able to acquire great moral strength for my spirit, and this strength has served me in reining in the vices of men, starting with my own.”

“Do not be fooled Father, between myself and you there is no point of comparison. You're full of sacrifice and abnegation, but if I've come here, it's not been for my virtue nor repentance, but only for egotism, because I find myself feeling bad everywhere I go. My days bore me and nights terrorize me because it seems like hell’s wrath has been unleashed against me. But when I hear your voice, my being feels tranquil and the suffering from that painful and unknown sensation I feel, leaves my body. But that's all, do not ask more of me. I cannot love goodness like you love it. When I'm by your side, I do stop sinning out of  fear, yes, but never by my own virtue.”

“I accept what you are saying. I do not think that in this existence I can ask more of you, because I am convinced that this is all you can grant me. One who has lived like you, one who has not respected neither God nor men, all that can be exacted is the torture of remorse. And there is a sense of fear... a sentiment which cannot be defined and has no explanation in the human language!  It is a terror without name and an inexpressible fright, one that can detain a guilty one at the very moment upon the committing of a new crime. But this fear for you is an advancement,  because you have lived for many, many years without feelings. The shadows of your victims have passed by you, without causing you not even minor impressions; their cries resound in space, but their echos do not repeat themselves within your heart. But today, these shadows now terrorize you, and you hear the laughter of that poor crazy woman, because at the moment you fixed your eyes upon that girl by the fountain, you yourself confessed, that you heard the laughter as if close by, that horrible laughter of pain!”

“It's true what you are saying,” he said,“I felt her, yes. Upon arriving at your village, the first thing that I saw was that woman. And how did I feel upon seeing her?  I do not know, but I felt as if melted lead seemed to circulate through my veins. I asked her for you, and she told me that you were at the cemetery, and from there you would go to the ‘Spring of Health.’ I asked her to be my guide and during our walk I admired her beauty and I told myself, ‘Now I have something to pass the time away.’ But when I was about to say something to her, I thought of you and the mountain with the dried grass, where climbing that accursed pathway I had seen Elisea and her husband. Then a distant voice said, ‘You wretch! One more victim!’ Upon arriving to where you were, a fire seemed to burn my face. I understand that I do wrong, but temptation overcomes me, and if you did not detain me, true I might have changed locals, but not my habits.”

“It's a great task which has been imposed upon me, but I have confidence in God so that I will have enough inspiration to incline you towards goodness.  We have already taken the first step; you feel remorse, you confess your guilt, and you have surrendered yourself under my direction.   Days of anguish await me but I will obtain victory, and your first good work will be to be the  protector of that young girl who served as your guide today. She is but a humble violet of the meadows and a young man of the valley has offered his love to her, yet both are poor. But you can make them rich without much effort; you can assure their happiness. So when in the future, that youthful pair presents to you the fruit of their love, you need to love that tender child, so that you will have someone there to close your eyes at your deathbed when you leave this earth. You have never loved, and no one has loved you. Your wife hates you and scorns you. Your followers and courtesans flatter you only because they fear you. The poor abominate you because you have never tried to dry their tears. The only one who has loved you in this world has been me. But I will leave this earth before you and I do not want, upon your death bed, that you find yourself alone. I want many friends there about you and innocent children there to bless you.”

“Thank you, Father, but I think you ask for the impossible!”

“No Rudolph, God gives one hundred to one; love and you will be loved. Spiritualize your sentiments, start planting the seeds of goodness, and one day you will gather up the golden seeds of love!”

Well, my prophesy has been fulfilled! Three years have passed and certain actions have  come to demonstrate that the last hour never chimes on the clock of eternity. Today, Rudolph is a different man, even though I have to be honest, it has cost me dearly, because brutally sensual men do not recognize affection of any kind. They do not find enjoyment except in the gratification of their desires. Rudolph is somewhat crazy but he is one who knows his insanity; he is ashamed of his past and full of terror regarding his future. But he is unable, on his own, to care for his future regeneration, and to make matters worse, that girl Luisa, inspired in him blind passion, but he fell in love with her....the only woman that he has ever truly loved in this world. He would have gotten tremendous pleasure in giving her his name through marriage! But, with much envy, he saw her pass into the arms of her future husband! I have had to employ many reasons and considerations to convince him, and keep him, from his fatal plans! Many hours of anguish and terror I have had to go through and suffer, fearing the possible realization of a new crime being perpetrated, because there is nothing so difficult than to give light, to those who are blind in comprehension. It's a very superior task for a man, to struggle against all the oppositions inherent in trying to spiritualize a soul submerged within the chaos of the most gross sensuality.

There is no doubt that Rudolph has been my son in more than one existence and I know this because of the love that I feel for him. The energy that expands my will power, the immense job that has been accomplished taxing my intellect, and all my efforts in regards to him which occupy my mind day and night, are the result of an immense love for him. All of this is the result of a tremendous love, of a love accumulated over numerous existences, because the spirit of a man on earth loves very little, and the love that I feel for Rudolph cannot be had in only one existence.

I love him so much....! I recognize his numerous defects and I lament his fatal extravagances, but all of my aspirations, all my yearning and all my ambition is to awaken feelings in him, to make him learn to love, because even wild beasts respond when subjected to love.

I love him so much, that I am positive that after my death I will be his guide, his guardian angel. As for my conception of angels, I believe them to be loving spirits who wish to watch over their loved ones who have been left on earth and on the many other worlds of space. So, I will watch over him and follow him always, and even if the worlds of light open their gates to me, I will not enter. No, I will not enter such beautiful places, unless Rudolph comes with me, even if there awaits for me, the pale girl with the black curls and the crown of jasmine.

She is my love, she is my life, and my happiness! But, he....is my duty and obligation!

She is my redemption! But, I have to be Rudolph’s redeemer! And I will be; it's been three years since I have been near him, and he is another person. The wedding of Luisa is the most convincing proof of this.

He desired her, he came to love her, and then when he would see her pass near his palace, he came to believe himself happy. He has arrived in obtaining all the childishness of adolescence. I have awakened in him the youthfulness of his soul, because love is the youthfulness of Creation. All beings, when they love, acquire the simplicity of children. There is nothing so pure, so confident, or, at the same time as noble and as simple, as the aspirations of love.  Love is equality, it is  fraternity, and it is progress; it's the union of enemy races. It is the law of the universe because it's the law of attraction.

Rudolph has felt the impulse of that law, and the irresistible paramour, one who was accustomed to easy and shameful victories, now has trembled before the simple look of a woman of the village. A seducer of women has turned into a protector of the weak.

Yet I still remember that last afternoon, when we went to visit the small house of Luisa, the house which on the following day, would be the home wherein she would live with her husband.

When Rudolph entered that humble abode, he sat down and told me, “How many centuries of glory and honors I would give up, to live but one year in this poor house!”

“You will live again,” I said, “And it is then, you will be worthy of enjoying some hours of peace and love. You will come back to earth repentant and you will find, who knows, possibly this same Luisa, and by her side you will pass the days working for your daily bread, for her and for your children. All desires are fulfilled and all hope realized, God created men so they can be happy, and you my son, will be, too.”

“But I would like to do it now,” he exclaimed with sorrowful impatience.

“Have you ever seen a tree adorned with fruit before it has its leaves and is covered with flowers? Do not ask for anything that's not opportune. You will be happy when you are worthy of it; when you love abundantly, you will find a soul on this earth of which all its love will be for you. Today, you must resign yourself to solitude which you have imposed upon yourself. But fear not, because even in the pain of desolation, for those who know how to love, one can find blessings.”
 
We left the small house and on the following day, I blessed the union of Luisa with the  beloved of her heart. The town came en masse to be present at the ceremony, and on that day the first acclamation of affection was received by Rudolph. Everyone in town knew that he had left the young couple a small fortune which would assure their modest future, and, that their fortunate union was due to his assistance as well. They all looked upon one another and said, “Rudolph is a good man!”

Upon leaving the church, he took a hold of my hand and squeezed it, saying with great emotion, “What you say is true, he that sows love, receives love back in return.”

A year later, Luisa gave birth to a baby girl. A few days later, Rudolph held her in his arms, while I spread the waters of baptism over its head. This innocent angel had come to awaken in
his soul  new feelings. Providence is wise in everything. Luisa, weak and infirm, was not able to provide the sweet nectar of life to her child, so it was turned over to a wet nurse. This in turn has enabled me to realize my dream, which was to place the small child named Delfina, with the child of my soul, Rudolph. He, who had never known the sentiments of fatherhood, as he was guilty of infanticide. But now he passes many hours with Delfina in his arms, and he feels so grateful that, when she sees him, she gestures her eagerness to go with him.

How happy I feel, when after visiting the cemetery, I find him waiting for me and he asks, “Are we going to see the baby?”

We then go to the house of the wet nurse, and Delfina, upon seeing him, puts out her arms for him. Then I say to myself, upon seeing him in such ecstasy,‘You rebellious soul, learn! Learn to love the little ones! Practice in the ‘priesthood of family’! May your spirit feel the gentle warmth of tenderness so that tomorrow, upon your return to the earth, after many incarnations of suffering, you will be happy, in a humble house, where a loving woman smiles at you and beautiful children will ask you for kisses.’

Rudolph has taken the first step. Praised be to God!